How to heal your spiritual pain
Tools to Dissolve the Dream and Awaken to Reality
Healing is the natural way of things. Our belief is the only thing which can divert or delay its flow. In truth, there is no stopping its course.
We can either dream of resistance to Spirit’s will, or we can awaken to the truth that there is only Spirit’s will. Spirit wills healing for all things. Thus healing, in the fullness of time, is inevitable. Healing is law.
I believe in your healing. I know you are Spirit and Spirit is always whole. You are already whole, even if your current state of perception tells you otherwise.
Suffering ends the moment we accept our true identity as Love. Whatever you have suffered, or are suffering, I know you can heal. You don’t have to live with your spiritual pain for the rest of your life.
These are some tools which helped me. I recommend you have a pen and paper beside you as you read to take notes and do the exercises.
Choose to Heal
Your healing begins with your soul level choice. It must come from deep inside you. No one else can make this choice for you.
From the highest perspective, there are no right or wrong choices. But, on a human, earthly level, healing is always the best choice. Your healing will serve you, those around you, and the world. Your unhealedness, beyond your soul’s educational requirements, doesn’t serve anyone.
Only you know if you have gone as far down the path of suffering as you are willing to go. Are you done with suffering now? Does your soul need more of it, or are you ready to move on? Rock bottom is a sacred place to be. It’s the place your new life begins.
Dig deep inside yourself to answer these following four questions, in all honesty. Excavate and examine both your subconscious consent and your subconscious resistance.
Why do I want healing?
Why do I not want healing?
Why do I want suffering?
Why do I not want suffering?
Don’t worry if answers to these questions are not apparent. Keep working with them until you feel the energy shift a little. When you feel you have dug as deep as you can, ask yourself:
Do I choose to heal?
If you feel any resistance to this question, go back to the first four questions.
When you can ask yourself the question, do I choose to heal?, and you know the answer is yes!, you can move on.
The next key is being willing to receive.
So say, now, out loud, ‘I am willing to receive Healing.’
Say it until it comes out clear, firm, resonant, and loud! You may need to practise it.
Ask for higher help
When we try to solve everything ‘by ourselves’ — with our limited being — it creates a closed circuit. No new connections can be made. When we remember to ask the Unlimited for help, it’s like opening the window in a darkened room.
Having made the choice to heal, the next step is to ask for help from the Divine and then surrender to Divine flow. Again, this is a soul level decision. We arrive at this decision when we understand our limited way of doing things doesn’t work. We turn our lives over to something greater than ourselves.
Surrender is not necessarily an ‘all at once thing’, although it may be. It’s incremental for most people, a continual re-choosing of Love in this moment. It’s a discipline, like any other.
The daily decision to surrender, and asking for it through prayer, is the best way for many. The constructs you use for your spiritual practise will be your choice alone.
Reading holy books and other spiritual or religious practices can be very beneficial. These things need to emerge from you and your soul’s guidance. There is no one-size-fits-all path. Would visiting your local church or temple and praying daily help, for example? Or perhaps sitting in the park and focusing on a single blade of grass? Or listening to guided meditations on YouTube? Talking long walks? Or all of these?
A simple and effective way of asking for Higher help and surrendering is this:
Get on your knees and put your hands into the prayer position.
Say this,
Please help me God (Source, Universe, Holy Spirit, Christ, etc). I surrender to your will.
Go to the Source of All Love
Somewhere along the line, we got the idea that love comes from other people. This is, no doubt, because we are so physically dependent on others when we are born. We are trained to look to others for survival, approval, and love. But here is the truth: You cannot feel anyone else’s feelings.
If you close your eyes and try to feel ‘someone else’s love for you’, what do you feel? If you feel something, that’s your feeling, not theirs. We can never feel anyone else’s feelings, or hear their thoughts, or know anything about them. We only know our own feelings and thoughts.
Other people don’t exist in the way we think they do. We only know the versions of other people we have created in our own imaginations. We invent other people.
Perhaps things other people say or do help us feel our own love. Or they may do or say things that trigger us to block our perception of Love. But it’s always our own feelings, our own love, that is perceived or not-perceived.
We only ever feel our own love. In truth, we feel Spirit’s love, the love at the core of our being. Go a step deeper, and we understand our being is Love itself. Love is not something we feel, experience, have, lose, or find. It’s who we are. You cannot not be yourself, so it is impossible for there to not be love. You can either experience who you are, or you can block the experiencing of who you are.
It’s our own choice whether or not we abandon the reality of our Self. No one else can make us do this, although it very much seems this way at times.
Instead of saying, “My mother or father didn’t love me”, or “No one loves me”, see that we were the ones who abandoned our Self. We were tricked into denying reality, the Love that we are. We thought ‘other people’ were the Source of Love. Because they didn’t give love to us, we abandoned our Self.
Say this, I am the Source of all Love
or, Spirit is the Source of All Love.
And, I am Love. Love is invulnerable, eternal, absolute, and boundless. Therefore, I am invulnerable, eternal, absolute, and boundless.
Heal Identity
Who we believe ourselves to be affects every aspect of our lives . People with multiple-personality disorder may have a health condition only in one personality. Older people, put in an environment replicating their youth, will feel younger. They may even experience a reversal of the symptoms of physical aging.
If you see yourself as someone who suffers, it’s time to see differently. You can rewrite your idea of who you are. You can recreate your self-image so you’re not a victim, but a hero. And keep working with this recreation until you don’t even think of yourself as someone who has ‘overcome’. Instead, see yourself simply as a happy, whole person. A new person, reborn and innocent in this moment.
You won’t lose yourself if you lose your suffering. You won’t lose your depth, or wisdom, or the lessons you gained. The suffering isn’t who you are. Clinging to your identity as a Sufferer or a victim is not serving you. The glory is not found in the suffering, but in the overcoming. Change your self-image and everything will rearrange itself around your new beliefs.
It’s time for you to reinvent yourself as someone who is healed. Change your beliefs about who you are, and you will be open to finding the right ‘medicine’ that cures you. Even if the cure seems to come from without, it is your changed beliefs that make it possible for you to receive it.
Embrace the reality of who you are
If you are see yourself as a Sufferer, how will you allow circumstances that do not involve suffering? If you know you are an eternal being of Love, everything will accommodate this new and truer belief.
As we embrace the reality of who we are, we dissolve the shadow identity we invented for ourself. The one we created because we saw ourselves through the eyes of those who abused or belittled us.
Are you still seeing yourself through the eyes of those who couldn’t see you? Change the eyes through which you see yourself.
You are not the weak, helpless, shameful victim they told you you were. You are Truth itself. You are Holy and Loved beyond all measure because you are Holiness and Love itself.
Change your name
Our names are magic spells, cast upon us without our conscious consent. In some Native American traditions, a person with a run of bad luck is told to change their name. The Gospel Song ‘A New Name in Glory’ sings about how we receive a new name when we get to Heaven:
There’s a new name Written down in glory, And it’s mine, (And it’s mine,) oh yes, it’s mine! (yes, it’s mine!)
A new name helps us create a new identity for ourselves. We take on the identity of a healed person, without the tarnished baggage of our messy lives. It helps us to move into a new energetic patterning and heal the feeling-tone of our lives.
I changed my first name for about 6 years and it was very healing for me. When I changed my last name to my husband’s, my healing accelerated. It helped me dissolve my ties to my family of origin identity.
Don’t worry about the practicalities of this for a moment. Please stay open to this for a little longer.
Some questions to ask yourself are:
a) How long have you been called by your current name? Is it the name you’ve had all your life?
b) How long have you had the last name you have? Where does it come from? What are the associations you have with it?
c) Have you ever been called anything else?
d) How does your own name sound to you when you say it out loud to yourself now?
e) How does it sound when other people say it? Does it ever trigger you because at some point your name was said in an unloving way?
f) If you’d never heard your name before, what kind of person do you imagine would have your name?
g) Do you have a middle name? If so, how do you feel about using it as your first name?
e) Is there another name that jumps into your mind that you would love to be called? In your wildest dreams, if you could have ANY name, what would it be?
f) What kind of person would have this new name of your choosing? Is this who you would love to be?
Regarding the practicalities of name change, there are ways to approach it. You can change your emails etc to include your new name as your middle name. Tell new people you meet that you go by your middle name. You can ask old friends to call you by your new ‘middle’ name, but most of them will struggle with this. It doesn’t matter too much though, as new people are going to come into your life as you heal.
Or, if you want to see how this feels for a while, come up with a new name for your new healed identity. Use it privately for now. What name does Healed You have? Pick something you love that sounds like the happy person you want to be. Naming ourselves is very empowering. As we step into our new name, we unbind ourselves from the spell of our given name.
Change your physical appearance, tribal identity, habits, physical location, language
The logic of these things is the same as the logic of the name change, so I won’t go into this in great depth. The aim is to change your energy patterning. Reinvent yourself. Dress to match your new name. Dress in a way that frees you from your past and from the expectations of the people who hurt you.
If you were raised with a certain set of beliefs, it’s time to reexamine them all from scratch. Take nothing for granted. As you uproot some of your deepest belief systems, you free yourself from the bindings of your trauma.
Move to a new area, adopt a new set of lifestyle habits, take on a fresh approach to your career. These are all things which can help shift the energetic pattern of your experience. Learn to speak a new language, or communicate in a new way. Untangle the constricted energy of your habituated thoughts.
Dissolve the dream
The more we identify with Reality, the more we dissolve the dream. If our dream has become a nightmare, it is imperative that we wake up to Truth. On a higher level, our souls may choose the nightmare to prompt us to awaken.
Forgiveness is not about letting others off the hook, or relieving them from justice or karma. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not for others. It occurs when we see through the dream. When we allow the Truth of our invulnerability to shine through the shadows. When we see it’s all complex theatre for our higher benefit.
When we understand the impossibility of attack, we see there is nothing to forgive. We see nothing ever happened, because it was only a dream. How can Eternal Life be attacked? Just as a mouse can’t attack the sun, we can’t attack Truth.
The flip-side of this is that Life cannot attack. Spirit is entirely harmless. So guilt, also, is a misperception and cannot be. You are both innocent and invulnerable. This is reality. Everything else is your dream. There are no other people. There are only dream figures. Only when you recognise Spirit in the dream figures, do you see Reality.
Time is a construct
Much of modern therapy asks us to focus on our trauma, talk about it, think about it. In effect, we are asked to replay it continuously in our minds and make it more real. After a point, all this does is reopen the wounds over and over.
Yes, it’s important not to suppress memories, but once they are excavated, we need to release them. Painful memories are not healed by being re-membered, or by being suppressed or denied. They must be transmuted, forgiven, dissolved.
You are, no doubt, familiar with the concept that linear time is a construct. In reality, there is no ‘future’ and there is no ‘past’. All that we believe to be ‘past’ is a set of images, emotions and words existing in our minds NOW.
Scenes from our past don’t exist anywhere other than this moment, here and now. This is not about whether they ‘really happened’ but about where and how they exist right now. The ‘past’ doesn’t have any external, verifiable reality. There is no objective record of your past somewhere ‘out there’.
The past is as malleable as the mind. It exists as a kind of dream in our imaginations only. If we are lucid, we can edit, shape, cleanse, rearrange the past. We can alter it to our will to suit us.
A key principle to understand is this:
Your soul doesn’t know the difference between ‘memory’ or ‘imagination’.
They are, in reality, the same thing. Both exist as a kind of dream in the mind. Your emotions will respond in the same way to memory as to imagination. Imagination is an ability which you can strengthen with practise. It can become your superpower.
Imagination is a powerful and greatly underutilized healing tool.
If these following exercises make your tearful, healing is occurring. Let the tears come as they need to. Welcome them. It means you are on your way home.
Bring your child self home to live with you.
Trauma is the shock which happens to our soul when we perceive lack of love. To heal this shock, we need to heal the belief that it is possible for there to ever be lack of love. We need to go back to our self in the moment of trauma, our fall from grace, our tears. Let our younger self know there can’t ever be a lack of love because we are love itself.
The Self is Love. It is not possible to not be our Self. So, therefore, lack of love is impossible.
A powerful exercise is to put yourself into as deep a trance or meditation as you can. As you are just dropping off to sleep can also be a good time. Imagine going back to the scene of your suffering, either before it happened, as, or after it happened. Experiment with which feels more effective.
Scoop your younger self up in your arms. Tell yourself all the things you wanted to hear at the time but didn’t. Tell your younger self you are coming home to live with older you. Then bring your child self home to live with you.
Imagine seeing everything in your home and life now through his/her eyes. Tell them they are safe now. What would make them most happy? Do those things, say those things. They are home now, and you won’t let anything bad happen to them again. Promise them you will never abandon them again. Be strong, be healed, for them. Become their rock.You are your parent now, your own best friend. You are the saviour you always needed.
Burn your memories
Draw the scenes of your pain, or write them down, or a combination of the two. Then burn them into ash. This replaces the image of the trauma with the image of burning paper and ash. If your mind travels back to the painful memory, discipline it to think instead of the flames and ash.
The painful memories dissolve as the empowering memory of the burning ceremony strengthens.
Edit the movie of your life
This is not about erasing the old memories, or burying or suppressing them. It is about creating healing and joyful alternatives. Remember, all ‘memory’ is imagination. Your Soul doesn’t know the difference between something ‘remembered’ and something ‘imagined’. This is not about historical accuracy. It’s about taking the festering splinters out of your soul.
Again, put yourself into as deep a trance or meditative state as you can. Or do this as you are dropping off to sleep. Reimagine the scenes in your childhood as you would have wished them to be.
You can also imagine a different story of your own birth. It can be as fanciful as you like. You were a fairy-tale princess and there was a glorious celebration. Or you were born on a tropical island on a beach with the sound of waves welcoming you into the world. Whatever you want. Rewrite your life with scenes that make you happy.
Then you will need to discipline your mind. If ever your mind loops back to a scene of trauma, train yourself to replace it with your preferred happy memory. It’ll take a bit of self-training, but it works.
The aim is to dissolve the old mental scenes and strengthen the new ones.
Call Your Angel
Imagine a beautiful angel — golden, or any colour you like . See her going back to every moment in your past where you have suffered. She holds you close and loves you, folding you in her wings and stroking your hair.
Give your angel a name if you like. All for you, she is yours. She might even wrap you up in her wings and fly with you. Let her rescue you away from the scenes of your pain before they happen. She has a lovely fragrance, maybe rose or something else you love.
New Parents
When our parents are abusive or neglectful or absent, our energy shifts to one of pain or lack. We can shift this patterning with these following tools:
Invent a new, perfect mother and/or father
If you are content with the parents you already have, you can skip this.
Otherwise, create new parents who love you unconditionally. The mother and father you should have had. Your new mother is wise, kind, good. Your new father is strong, gentle, attentive.
Give them names. Imagine what they look like. Imagine the kinds of things they would say. Do some drawings of them. try to make them as real as you can. Think of them often. Tell them your troubles. Let them stroke your hair, cook you lovely meals, give you everything you need.
Maybe they are someone from a story-book, or a celebrity you’ve always admired. They can be a blend of people you know and love, perhaps your grandparents, or a teacher you loved. They could be magical beings, mermaids or wizards or elves.
Perhaps they buy you gifts or take you shopping. Do they have a great sense of humour? Do they listen to everything you say and encourage you? Feel their loving energy and let this energy in.
Connect with Mother Gaia
Accept Gaia as your mother. Connect with her energy as much as you can — trees, plants, flowers, animal, time outside.
Look at your fingerprints — they have rings in them the same as tree rings. You are as much a part of this Earth as the trees or the animals or the stones. Gaia LOVES you as much as she loves the bees and the robins.
Walk in nature. Breathe green into your heart. Spend time with animals. Finding opportunities to be kind to animals is especially healing.
Connect with Father Sky
Energetically satisfy your need for a father by connecting with Father Sky. The vast spaces, clouds, stars, sun, moon are always there for you. They protect and watch over you. They invite you to explore their magic, freedom, and wonder.
Spend time each day looking at the clouds and birds flying high. Be aware of the sun’s rising and falling. Imagine the sun connecting to your solar plexus with a golden cord. Imagine breathing in sunshine or the blueness of the sky. By night, ponder the stars. Speak to them. Breathe in the moon. Notice the moon cycles.
Harness the power of this moment
We find all power and truth in this one moment, the only moment there has ever been. This moment is eternity. It is Reality. This is where healing lies. The more we can tune into now, the more we heal.
You may find yourself ‘triggered’ — jolted back to the time and place of your suffering. This is known as ‘post-traumatic-stress disorder’. An invaluable tool is remembering to ask yourself this:
How old am I now?
Am I safe right now?
Rewrite the future
In the same way the ‘past’ exists in our minds as a type of dream, so does the future. The future has no external reality. It is only in your mind now as a set of images, ideas, thoughts, emotions. It is up to you to create the future you most desire.
Imagine your preferred, happiest future vividly. Then, let go of the forms your imagination gave you and step into the vibration of joy and happiness.
Have a single image in your mind of an older you full of health and joy. Steer yourself towards that one shining image. Move into the feeling that image stirs in you , as if you are navigating a boat through the ocean waves.
Create a parallel reality
Often, when there is something we are convinced us we ‘can’t have’, we reject that thing from our consciousness. We don’t want to feel the pain of not having it. Unfortunately, when we do this, we also reject the joy.
If your dream has always been to be a ballerina, but you are sixty, you may not allow yourself to dream of ballet. There is no rational pathway for you to become a ballerina and thinking of it only brings you sorrow. As you deny yourself fantasies of dance, you deny yourself the joy that dreaming of dance could bring you.
Let yourself dream of dancing, even if you can’t be a professional dancer. Love animals even if there is no practical way for you to have a pet. If your dream is to be a parent, but Spirit hasn’t blessed you with a child, mourn your loss. But then allow yourself to smile because children still exist in the world.
Create a parallel dream life where your every wish is fulfilled. One where you have ten children and a partner who loves you. Or where you have perfect physical health. Then let go of the forms, but step into the feeling of that ‘imaginary’ world, the energetic patterning of your fantasy. Do you see how you can feel the joy, regardless of whether you ‘have’ the outer form?
Conclusion
As you rewrite your constructs, identity and beliefs, you will redirect your energetic stream. You’ll move from the vibration of pain to the vibration of joy. This may occur through a series of incremental shifts, in waves, or it may happen all at once. Let it come organically.
You’re not amazing because of what you suffered. You’re amazing because you never lost sight of the goodness in your heart, despite it all. Because you’ve been so brave. Instead of sharing your pain, you shared your love. Spirit sees you and knows who you are.
As you tune into the Life Which You Are — your actual Life Force — healing will occur. The fire which is the center of your being will burn out all that isn’t You. Pain is a delusion because it isn’t the Truth of Who You Are. Truth will heal the delusion.
All healing comes from Spirit. As we open our eyes to Spirit, we heal on every level. The forms that seem to be the ‘outer world’ will reflect our ‘inner’ wholeness. Your blossoming is inevitable. Let go and let it happen.
I truly hope some of these tools which helped me heal my life may also help you. I love you, I see you, I am grateful for you and I honour you.
If this article resonated with you, you might feel called to read my book, A Map of Secret Rivers, How to Navigate Timelines, available on Amazon.
Thank you. A lot in it helping right now.